Open Letter To Santa: 6th Edition

Dear Santa,

Well hello there. It’s fast approaching Christmas 2015. I want to highlight that it is 2015 because this has been going on for far too long.

Let’s recap….

It was 2007 when I first had this amazing wish for Christmas. I requested your services and was left disappointed.

I put my heart in your hands for the second time in 2008. Again… much disappoint.

2009? Yet again…enttäuschten. (That’s German for disappointment in case your German is not up to par)

I gave you the finger in 2010.

A year later in 2011, I felt bad for the finger. I sent my apologies and tried again. The disappointment continued.

Despite learning from my mistakes, I tried again in 2012. I was covered in sticky disappointment. The world was supposed to end in 2012. What if it had ended? The guilt you would have been left to endure for the eternity of your imaginary life.

That finger rolled out of my hand again in 2013.

You got two harsh fingers in 2014. And no I don’t feel bad. You should feel bad.

Present day: 2015 – Hi. Shall we get on with this? I haven’t even posted a single thing to my blog for over a year. That’s how serious business I am. Let’s put all of this behind us and become the best-est friends anyone will ever know? I’ll even break it down with more details… JUST in case you have been unsure of my wish this entire time.

For Christmas I would like to spend the evening watching “Edward Scissorhands” with someone special. It’s a great movie, don’t judge. The someone special? Simply someone special. Someone that isn’t a jerk. Someone that’s cool. I’d like to have a soft drizzle of snow coming down outside. Not like a foot of snow….or even an inch. Just some freaking snow to be lightly coming out of the sky aimed in my direction. So that once the movie is finished, we could go for a walk outside. I could imagine that we are walking in our very own personal snow globe. Hence the soft drizzle of snow mentioned above. There’s this scene in the movie where Edward is creating a beautiful piece of art out of ice. The ice shavings are floating in the air. Kim walks out and twirls around in the ice shavings as if it’s a snowfall. It never snowed there and this was the closest she could get to twirling around in a soft drizzle of snow. The camera angles really made it feel like I was holding a snow globe and watching it come to life in my hands. This was a “feels” moment in the movie…considering what happens only moments later. THE FEELS. Stop judging me!

I hope that was more detailed for you, Santa. I hope that you understand it. I hope that you bring these feels to me. I’d appreciate the feels.

Much love, 

-Bunni3

What’s The Deal With This Thing Called Self Confidence?

Hello? Is this thing on?

*SQUEAL*

Oops! Pardon me. That was embarrassing..

Hi internet. I wanted to have a little discussion about self confidence. It’s a topic that seems scary to most people. I was inspired to type at you about it in reference to our dating lives. However self confidence relates to every aspect of our life…so feel free to go with it as you please.

Self confidence [self-kon-fi-duh ns]

the realistic confidence in one’s own judgment, ability, power, etc.

Self confidence is the realistic confidence in yourself. Notice the keyword “realistic”. You will never be 100% confident in everything that you do. If you are…then that’s what we will call narcissism. If you’re narcissistic…then the idea of self confidence isn’t even a thought in your head because you’re so awesome you can do no wrong. Move along and make some room for those that realize they suck at times.

So we always hear about how people are attracted to people with self confidence. That statement is extremely true. Whether it’s relating to people we want to date or people we simply have around has friends. Self confidence is naturally attractive and inviting. While having low self confidence doesn’t make you a horrible person…I suspect you can agree that it’s harder to form a bond with that sort of person. They could be socially awkward and fumble to hold a conversation, thus making it awkward for everyone in that conversation. Or they don’t feel that they are attractive and hide. Or they just feel like they are not a likable person and never give you that chance to like them. Like I said, a person having low self confidence is in no way a defective person. They, just simply, are having some struggles. Eventually they let people in their lives and we like them…and we hug them a lot…and get really good at giving pep talks.

What I am hoping to do is hand out some advice for them about finding self confidence…so here goes.

First I want to reiterate no one is 100% confident in all that they do. People will always have situations that make them struggle and second guess themselves. I’ve always felt like there is this illusion that you either have full self confidence or you have none. That’s all a lie. You can have it today and the next day you can fumble. How I summarize having self confidence is accepting that I am a person who sucks at times and other times I’m pretty awesome. I accept that there will be many times I will throw myself out there and get rejected. I accept that I am myself and people will not always like the person I am…but there will always be people that like who I am. I accept that some days I will be terrified of the world, but tomorrow is a new day…I will tackle the world tomorrow. Having self confidence means you are aware that you will not always succeed in what you do…but you still try. It’s simply that. You’re not perfect, but you make an effort to accept your place on this planet full of humans.

So…how does one have self confidence? The answer is pretty simple. You fake the fuck out of it. I would imagine that’s not a new piece of advice to you. I have heard that all of my life. People simply state…just fake it. Seriously, that’s how you do it. I’m not joking in the slightest. No one magically has confidence, or can sit at home and just teach yourself how to be confident. You have to toss yourself into the pit of fear and realize it’s actually not that bad.

The next time you’re out and you see a person who just gets the juices flowing…do something about it. Walk up and say hi. Make eye contact and smile. Just do something. Yes there is a chance of being rejected, but who cares? You’re pretty awesome, and if they don’t get to find out…it’s their loss. You accept that not everyone will want to have you in their life, but there are plenty that want you in their life.

In my younger days when I went out places and I saw a cute guy…I would just go right up and introduce myself. Trust me, it was terrifying. T-E-R-R-I-F-Y-I-N-G. But I knew I just had to suck it up and go for it. Did I get rejected? All the time. Did I ever succeed? Hell ya. Just as much as I was rejected. You know what happened? Every time I was rejected, I reminded myself that I won’t always be rejected. I didn’t focus on all those times I was rejected…I focused on all the times I successfully got the phone number of a hot guy. Sure enough, eventually I was no longer terrified of being rejected. Sure enough, I began succeeding more than failing. Of course I still get nervous, even today, but I am not terrified. Are there days that I get too nervous and can’t convince myself to go talk to the hot guy? Constantly. I never let that make me feel like less of a person, however. Not every day is a success.

I’ve seen what putting out self confidence can do for something as simple as a new conversation. When I’m nervous and awkward meeting a person, and don’t fake confidence…I see it reflect off of them. The other party starts feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Suddenly everyone feels awkward and you end up just staring at each other until a party member finally just gets the heck out of there. When you suck it up and fake that confidence, they won’t feel the awkwardness. They feel your confidence. Even though you’re totally acting like you have confidence versus actually being confident. They don’t know the difference. All they see is that you are confident in talking to them. What demeanor you put into something, even as simple as a conversation, will 100% affect how that something goes.

So fake it. You want to start feeling confident with yourself? Start throwing yourself into scary situations and fake that you have the confidence. Focus on the times you succeed, and you will realize that rejection/failure isn’t always horrible. Accept that you’re pretty cool, but sometimes you’re going to suck. Eventually you will gain confidence in yourself and your ability to interact with the world.

My New Favorite Song: I’m Only Joking

I heard this song for the first time early this evening. I had an immediate music orgasm. Of course I pulled out the handy dandy phone and got to working to find out where it was coming from. Saw it was a new single by the Kongos.

Not going to lie, I have yet to be disappointed with this band. Then this song comes along and tops the sundae. It’s my mother eff-ing cherry on top.

My Life With Cats

On August 21st, 2013, I adopted two cats. Brother and sister. Pan and Kali.

Kali and Pan making a heart with their cuddles

By September 01, 2013, I was officially a crazy cat mom. Here’s my story…

As a child, my family had two female outdoor cats. Meaning they had as many dates with stray boy cats as they wished. Even more meaning they had kittens. Often. So as a child I grew up with cats all over the place, and loved the crap out of it. Eventually my mom didn’t want to deal with her cat allergy anymore and we gave the cats away.

As I grew up I continued to love cats and lived vicariously through my friends who had cats. I always had an inkling that I would grow up and become a crazy cat lady.

In 2007 I picked up my belongings and moved out-of-state. I got settled into a place and began thinking how I wanted to get a kitten. I ventured out and bought the “Kittens for Dummies” book. Yes I did that. Yes I read the whole thing. Yes I still have the book. By the time I finished the book I was TERRIFIED of getting a kitten. Anyone thinking of getting a kitten, don’t read that book. I had felt that I was capable of raising a kitten. That book made me rethink kittens…or the possibility of ever wanting children. I mean if kittens are that tough, how the hell could I raise a child? (honestly I have no itch for children…but I definitely don’t after that book)

So there I sat lonely in my place. No kittens. No cats. No furry thing to shower with my love. My crazy cat lady inkling diminishing.

Fast forward to 2013. I came across an opportunity to adopt a pair of cats. Adults cats. No kittens…thanks to “Kittens for Dummies”. They were brother and sister, fully grown, well-mannered cats. I said “Screw it! Let’s do this!”, and took on the two cats.

Kali and Pan doing their cuddling thing

I can never go back now. In the end, this was the best decision ever. These two cats are the best cats. Both are so full of personality and love. Everything they doing I find adorable. I have more pictures of my cats than I do of anyone else in my life. Ever. I haven’t had a private moment in the bathroom since the first week of adopting them…and I’m OK with that.

Recent view I had while I was taking a bath

Kali is the alpha cat. She runs the show, and she knows it. She’s a total lap cat. If you are sitting and she’s not in your lap, you get the death stare. She climbs on me kitty stomping and meowing until she gets the perfect spot to lay down.

Kali wondering why I am playing on my phone instead of petting her

Pan is the cuddly one. I’ve given Pan the Indian name of Little-spoon Cuddle-pants. When I climb in bed, Pan beats at the blankets trying to get under them. He has yet to succeed getting under them on his own. I let him try then give in and lift up the covers. He hops under the covers and cuddles with me.

My Little-spoon Cuddle-pants at his finest

It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with my cats. At this point they are my children. I love them to death. I crave their attention, just as they crave my attention. Having a bad day? No problem. Give me 5 minutes hanging out with my cats and “What bad day?” Stress melts away with their affections. I love having conversations with Kali. She’s a talker. I love snuggling with Pan while he sucks on my shirt. Did you know that some cats never grow out of suckling on their mom? Neither did I until I met Pan. Pan destroys my shirts with puddles of kitty saliva. It’s pretty gross, but it’s so gosh darn adorable.

My name is Bunni3 and I am a crazy cat mom…and I love it. Just in case you were thinking it. I won’t be that crazy cat lady who has 30 cats. Two cats are plenty for me, but I am crazy about my cats.

Pan says “Hi mom! Whatcha doing? I’m going to chill here. Btw loves you!”

P.s. If you’ve ever had an itch to get a pet. Do it! Pets are an amazing addition to your life. Treat them right and they will treat you right. You can be the center of the universe…their universe. It’s full of awesome.

My New Favorite Song: Do I Wanna Know?

Yep.

This is very much my new favorite song.

Horribly addicted to it.

All I can do is stop and groove when I hear this song.

And now you can too!

Arctic Monkeys “Do I Wanna Know”

If I Wanted To Play In Reality…I’d Go Outside

Being The Sims fan I am (and boredom at play)…I gave The Sims: Free Play for Android a go today. While it is free, and runs pretty smooth on a phone… I feel that it should be called The Sims: If They Lived For Reals.

I’m female, and as most females…we get excited about The Sims. I’m all about playing God to helpless little pixels all in the comfort of my personal bubble. I’ve avoided dabbling with The Sims on my phone because I understand how my addiction works. If I would want to see people again, I should probably not invest in a mobile version of The Sims. However today my curiosity got the better of me and I downloaded the beast.

I waited while it downloaded from Google Play. I waited while it installed. Finally! I open the app to be blessed with “To play this game, we need to download way more stuff from our servers. Did you really think we’d be upfront about the size…..ever?” So I anxiously waited while it downloaded just under a gig of more game. OK finally time to play! Off I go!

I’m greeted with a neighborhood map with a house already built…just waiting for me to create a Sim. Yay! My favorite part…creating myself in Sim version. OK the Bunni3 Sim is made! Now let’s see what awful things I can do!

A box pops up that informs me that my Sim has goals, and I should complete them for XP to level. What? My goal is to complete goals to level myself? OK….well let’s give it a try. Thus begins my downward slope of fun.

Each time you finish a goal another goal appears. Many times you can’t do anything else in the game until you’ve completed the goal.

Along with it, each activity is timed. Unlike the PC game where you have your Sim watch TV until their entertainment bar rises enough….instead when I click on the TV it lists options. Such as “watch the news: 5 minutes”. By 5 minutes…it means real life 5 minutes. I can’t do anything else for 5 minutes until my Sim finishes watching the news. Or dance to the radio…. 4 minutes. There are some actions that span over an hour.

So I’m forced to complete goals and my Sim lives in real time? Suddenly it hits me! Instead of spending my own 5 minutes watching the news, I can spend 5 minutes watching my Sim watch the news. Instead of being productive with my own life, I can watch my Sim have a life by accomplishing goals for them.

The whole point to Sims is that I can play out my entire Sims life in the span of 4 hours of my reality. I can get my Sim a job, get rich fast enough to leave job, marry off my Sim, have a baby Sim, die in an unexplained house fire all in a short sitting. Instead this Sims game has me spending an hour to watch my Sim spend an hour watching a movie.

*head explodes*

If I wanted to play in reality…I’d go outside.

wpid-20130910_164753

Dating with OkCupid: That Damn Skype Add

*Disclaimer at the bottom

Oh hai. This happened recently.

“I mean what’s the worst thing that can happen if u add me in skype ?? :) I just want to talk, all right ? please don’t freak out and don’t ignore me .. I am not really a bad thing.. not all… just give me a try.. just let me know your skype name … that’s all I need right now.. I can take it from there.. or.. ur gmail.. we could do voice chat there too.. so u r in ?? .. I mean come on ! dont say no.. please dont.. u gotta have faith sometimes ;) believe in me ;) :D please just give me that damn skype add ^^”

I wonder how well that works for him? Personally….it terrifies me.

That is all.

*Disclaimer: The things mentioned in this post could be taken from real life happenings. Possibly from messages I have received or conversations I have had. If you are a person who happens to have been on the other side of these happenings, and you dislike my opinion on the topic… Consider this my apology. These opinions are of my own. I do not expect anyone to agree with me. All names are left out on purpose. In the event I use a name, it’s used with their permission or I substituted a pseudonym for them.